Some Reflections of the Fall

Gao, Huangyong

It always surprises me how soon the wind from north is coming. A shirt is no longer enough to keep you warm, but you still have a difficult time to remember putting on the jacket. In the night, the sound of the wind reminds you the long and darker winter of last year. You kind of feel lost, wondering if anything has changed.

But the afternoon sun becomes friendlier. You think of it as warm, not as hot. Even it does become hot, you do not complain, like you did ceaselessly just two months ago. Sitting in the sun with a cup of coffee in hand, you even begin to understand those people who lied on the beach when the temperature exceeds 100 degrees. Those people you called idiots just two months ago.

You even begin to like the fall, even though the winter is approaching fast. There is not any cloud in the blue sky. I really do not know any better expression to describe the fall. Or maybe I can try “The moon is brightest and roundest in the middle of the fall”.

It also surprises me how easily I get used to saying “when we were young”. When we were young, we didn’t care the fall very much. We love the spring. We could be happy without any reason and money. We even had a little bit sense of entitlement then.

I guess I was a quite serious person, way too serious. I always felt that morality is essential for every human being. But I began to doubt this contention more and more. It seems to me now that persons with strong moral sense are incapable of happiness. A ready example is the “religious right”. So morality is inconsistent with happiness. Happiness is good. Then morality must be bad. That leads us to … impossible.

I guess I have to let it go. That’s also the lesson of the fall. The winter is coming, and no matter what you do, nothing is going to stop the winter. So you have to let it go, and be satisfied with what you have at your hand.

That’s very pessimistic. But it is also liberating to know that there is only so much you can do. You cannot go wrong. The sky is clearer than ever.

Relax and have fun of the lovely weekend.

Leave a Reply